The Best (and Worst) Corny & Cheesy Dad Jokes 👋

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, 'I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.'

A witch's vehicle goes brrrroom brrrroom!

Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.'

What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO.

The pony couldn't sing because it was a little horse.

Just look at that couple down the road,' a wife told her husband. 'He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?' 'Are you insane?' he responded. 'I barely know the woman!'

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.

How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.

I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.

A son tells his father, 'I have an imaginary girlfriend.' The father sighs and says, 'You know, you could do better.' 'Thanks Dad,' the son says. 'That means a lot.' The father shakes his head and goes, 'I was talking to your girlfriend.'

Marriage involves three rings: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'What do you want?' The man says, 'Oh, just some fruit punch.' The bartender sighs and shakes his head, 'If you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line.' The man looks around, but there is no punchline.

What do call a criminal landing an airplane? ConDescending.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate nine!

Dad, did you get a haircut?' 'No, I got them all cut!'