The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Amazon & Tech 👋

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia? Because he was Snowd en!(according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

I listened to him boast about standing head and shoulders above the rest and how he felt it was acceptable, even encouraged, to look down on others. I realized I couldn’t cast a vote for this man. He was a height supremacist.

My English teacher says it's impossible to make a sentence using only nouns... Boy, eye gist dew naught sea whey awl teachers seam two inn cyst tits knot rite. We half sum examples. Dew ewe? Lettuce snow.

Building grain processing facilities is a lucrative business I’m hoping to make a mill by the end of the year.

I asked the butcher if he had any tripe. He gave me a box set of ‘Love Island’.

I booked a trip to visit the Cherokee in Oklahoma this summer, but having second thoughts... I'm having a reservation reservation reservation.

I tried texting with gloves and it just wouldn't work... So I went back to texting with a phone.

What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.

I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!

“Siri,” I asked my phone, “why am I so bad with women?" She responded, “I’m Bixby, you moron.”

I broke a toner cartridge when I was putting it into the printer. RIP my inkbox.

Me: "Chef Ramsay, today I've prepared a Disney film for you to watch..." Ramsay: "Is it Frozen?"Me: "... yes"Ramsay: "Damn..."

What font does alphabet soup use? Times New Ramen.*Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.*

A Tree Falls In A Rainforest And Nobody Notices But Me "Ha ha ha! My illegal tree cutting business is working!"