The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
My dad was born a conjoined twin, but separated at birth. So I have an uncle, once removed.
What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out my underpants? My mother.
Why did the cows go to the Marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back. In honor of 420.
(Apparently, I said this joke in my sleep, and don't recall ever hearing it before, so I may have come up with it in my sleep as well.) Did you hear the one about the professional hockey player who quit his job to become an accountant? He wanted an off-ice job.
When your partner tells you he/she cheated on you, I know there is a tendency to ask "with who?" Resist it. Instead ask "with whom?". Speak good English, no matter the circumstances.
What did the court jester call the balding crown prince? The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.
True story! A 55-year-old Walmart cashier winked at me as she handed back my change the other day. People's Sexiest Man title, here I come.
A man walks up to a millionaire fisherman Man: “Wow you must make a lot of money off fishing.”Fisherman: “Aye I do, last season I raked in over $500,000.”Man: “If you don’t mind me asking how much is your Networth?”Fisher: “This old net is worth around $200.”
I have an ugly, tight pair of shorts that I only wear when every other pair is dirty. They’re my last reshorts.
What is the scientific name for a child's fear of sitting on Santa's lap at the mall? Claustrophobia
Avengers cast Interviewer: are you a humanAvengers endgame cast: I am not sure if I am aloud to tell you that
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom!
Why did a customer leave the blockbuster store disappointed? They were never going to give him Up.
What do you call a mom who turns into a dad? Transparent.