The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
What does the flower say when it wants you to leave it alone? Begonia!
Anthony Scaramucci [removed]
A joke from my grandfather In a kindergarten classroom in Moscow in 1980:Teacher: The Soviet Union is the heaven where you always have food to fill your stomach and your parents have a job and everyone is happy.Student named Mikhail: Teacher I want to go to the Soviet Union.
India is a very peaceful country. Because nobody has any beef over there.
There's a little-known, but foolproof defense against sharks. Sharks will only attack you if you're wet.
Where did the ghost go to for his vacation? He went to Maliboo
What did the doctor say to the ghost? You’re not getting enough exorcise
What is a Karen called in China? Kalen
So, the make a wish foundation arrives at a hospital room They talk to the child laying there,“ are you ready for the surprise of a lifetime“The kid in a raspy voice replies, “ So a short one?”
Steve and John are watching the football when Johns dog starts licking its nuts. Steve says "i wish I could do that" To which John replies "probably best to pat him first or he might bite ya"
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "Morning." He replied, "No, just having a shit."
I bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces..
So this French dude was working in a department store in France and a Karen comes up and starts laying it on him, asking for his manager. Manager shows up, old stoner dude that's not having it. Karen starts whining and says "But you have to do what I say! The customer is king!" The manager looks at her in the eyes and says, "Ma'am, this is France. We decapitate kings."
I've compiled my Dad Joke Insults and archived them. I call it the "Dad Abase."
I told my son I'm named after Thomas Jefferson. He says, But dad, your name is Brian. I respond, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.