The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Dad -- Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. Daughter -- What's that got to do with anything? Dad -- That means it's pasture bed time.

I asked my Google assistant to tell me what was the name of the number with 100 zeros I’ve already tried 5 times, and it keeps refreshing to the main page. Geez, thanks a lot.

An angry customers walks back in a donut shop. He says to the worker:"Why isn't my donut glazed?!The worker respond:"Look sir, i'm not going to sugar coat it."

Joke by my 6 year old niece 6: Why did the chicken cross the road?Me:I don't know why?6: He didnt, he got hit by a truck!Still gets me 13 years later.

A sacrificial lamb is really nothing more than a mutton for punishment.

Doctor, I’m worried about my son. He spends all day measuring imaginary bottles of orange soda. Don’t worry ma’am, it’s normal for boys his age to spend their time fantasising.

Was walking down the street yesterday, seen an ad in the shop window. "T.V FOR SALE, €1, VOLUME STUCK ON FULL" I said, can't turn that down.

When a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes she will be. No need to keep reminding her every hour.

Did you hear about the girl who quit her job at the doughnut factory? She was fed up with the hole business.

A dad died due to us not being able to remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting that we "be positive", but it's hard without him.

Where do ghosts buy their food? The ghostery store.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

I was sitting on the back porch with my wife when I suddenly blurted out, 'I love you.' 'Is that you or the beer talking?' she asked. I answered, 'It’s me… talking to my beer.'

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!'