The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks? Minnesota!

Why did the laptop show up late to school? It had a hard drive.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh.

Just finished cleaning my grill. It was grate.

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, “I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.” The patient asks him, “Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him and says, “Nine.”

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

What’s the difference between a dad and a grill? A grill runs out out of gas.

Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

A man goes to a diner and orders a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of room temperature sweet tea. When his food arrives he takes a sip of the tea but finds it to be scorching hot. "Ow!" yells the man, "I asked for this to be room temperature!" "It is, sir" says the waiter "The kitchen is on fire."

I invested in a soup manufacturer. I asked them what the stock options were. They said chicken or vegetable

I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants. They would not let me park my car there.

My wife and I were watching a man push a shopping cart with a ladder in it down the road. My wife said to me “do you think he asked to borrow the cart or did he just steal it,” I replied “probably the ladder.”

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said. "You know, one would have been enough."