The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.
I live in MD and the governor is all “Don't go to the bar. Don't meet up with your friends. Don't come home with an infection.” Honestly, Gov. Larry Hogan is starting to sound like my wife.
an occupation of a kid Mother: You can't imagine how many times I have to call him before he finally comes to me. I wonder what will he do for a living when he grows up... Father: a waiter?
When does a joke become a dad joke When it becomes apparent.
A man had the most dangerous spider in the world, a Brown Recluse, stuck in his keyboard. He called his wife about it."Hey honey, I have a venomous spider in my house!" He said."Oh my God, are you okay?" His wife asked."Yes, I have it under CTRL."
I went to Dicks Sporting Goods and bought a heavy bad and 14oz gloves. The checkout clerk asked me, "Do you wanna box for those?" ... Why does it always have to be a fight with you people? Can't I just pay for them and go home?
What do you call a pear thats a dad? I don't really know but it should be apparent.
Why are Scots the toughest guys in the world? They wear kilts in a country where thistles grow waist-high.
So, I went to the doctor... She asked "What brings you here today?"I replied "My car."And then she looked down at the form, shook her head, checked a box, and commented under her breath: "Not sexually active."
Apparently sharks can grow up to 30 feet. I thought they were called fins.
Help, my wife is missing!!! Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over 170 centermeters tall.Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant: Color of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never ... read more
Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles... In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy. They asked him why everyone else got some food and they didn't. The flight attendant said, "Sorry, but we don't serve Peanuts on this flight."
I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground. I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!
My Uncle works at a crematorium.For his birthday, I bought him a bottle of lotion... Because he must be ashy...