The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Got a B in my computer programming class Call that a C++

What's it called when kittens get stuck in a tree? A cat-astrophe.

My wife is furious at our next-door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard. Personally, I'm on the fence.

I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!

Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.'

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!'

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.'

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, 'I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.' The patient asks him, 'Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?' The doctor calmly looks at him and says, 'Nine.'

Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark? ' I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.