The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

What do you call a hippie's wife? Mississippi.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

Did you hear about the truck transporting steaks that got into a wreck? Some car T-Boned it.

My friend couldn't afford to pay his bill, so I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.

How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get it off of a Swan.

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five".The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?""No" says the boy, "But he minded his own fckng business."

Why do Bri'ish people never pronounce the letter 't' ? Because they drank it all

I parked my car outside parliament. "Sir, you can't park here," said a cop. "This is where our politicians work." "Don't worry, I've locked it."

A dog became a successful lawyer, but has a rivalry with an attorney. One day, the attorney won and the judge threw out the case. The dog said, "Don't worry, I brought it back to him."

Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already.

Today, my son asked, "Can I have a bookmark?" I burst into tears-11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

I have a great joke about nepotism. But I’ll only tell it to my kids.

A son tells his father, 'I have an imaginary girlfriend.' The father sighs and says, 'You know, you could do better.' 'Thanks Dad,' the son says. 'That means a lot.' The father shakes his head and goes, 'I was talking to your girlfriend.'

When does a joke become a “dad joke? ' When it becomes apparent.