The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

“Just look at that couple down the road,” a wife told her husband. “He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?” “Are you insane?” he responded. “I barely know the woman!”

My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”

"Your wife and daughter look like twins," my friend said. "Well," I replied, "they were separated at birth."

My dad needed some advice on how to wrap birthday presents properly He looked up "Enimem-rap god"

Why was the ghost sad on Christmas Day? Because he had no presence....sorry

Can anyone recommend a good bank account? Mine's run out of money.

Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?' No sun.

Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.

A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before? ' The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place. '

What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.

I'm reading an anti-gravity book. I can't put it down!

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, 'I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.'

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.'

Can I dive in this pool? It deep-ends.