The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

My wife just completed a 40 week bodybuilding program this morning. It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.

What’s the difference between a dad and a grill? A grill runs out out of gas.

My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

I can always tell when my wife is lying just by looking at her. I can also tell when she’s standing.

My wife said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?” And I thought, “that’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”

What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.

My Uncle Benny Always used to Say, "If you like a girl you should buy her a Toothbrush..." "Because then every time she puts it in her mouth, she'll think of you."

My wife told me she and her sister started a weight loss competition to see who can shed the most pounds before their cousin's wedding this summer. "I hope you win" was not the correct response.

A German soldier, Japanese soldier, and Italian soldier were interrogated A German soldier said he would not speak, but he did. The Japanese soldier said he would resist, but he spoke, and the Italian soldier was the only one who did not speak. When they asked him how he resisted, he said "my hands were tied"

If you think the name Jack Hiscock is bad You should feel even worse for his sister, Sharon.

Doctor: you'll soon be at peace Man: am I dying?Doctor: no, your wife is

“Knock, knock. ' “Who’s there? ' “Alabama. ' “Anybody with you? ' “Nope. I’m Alabama self.“

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.