The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Why did the ram run over the cliff? He didn’t see the ewe turn.

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? He had a very esteemed colleague.

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down…

What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.

Only in England. £800 fine if you are caught at a house party during lock-down.But reduced to £400 if paid early.If you catch covid at the party, the government willgive you £500 to stay at home.That's £100 profit.This country is absolutely fucked.

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas? Because the last time a Fat Man came to town, they lost half their population.

I once saw a ghost made of chocolate and vanilla Ice creamed

What did the well-intended but lazy pimp tweet out after a hurricane? “I’m sending my thots and prayers.”

Prince Philip meets Diana in heaven So Prince Philip enters the pearly gates and one of the first people he sees is Diana - whom he notoriously didn't like."Hello my dear, what a lovely halo you have," he says."Fuck off Philip, you know it's a steering wheel."

I am dating this half korean chick I am dating this half korean chick Her mom is korean And her dad is korean But her legs got ripped of in a car accident

I said to my wife “You are my drug” She said: “Oh wow is it because you can’t get enough of me?”I replied: “No because you cost so much money and you’re ruining my life”

Why was the 89 degree angle not trusted He's never right

Gorillas see us how we see aliens, skinnier, smarter, less hair Or you might call them Asians

What goes hahahaha' right before a gigantic crash, but keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off.