The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I was meeting my future father in law for the first time... He asked me, "Are you here for my daughter's hand?" In the interest of being honest, I replied, "I'm mostly interested in her vagina." He was taken aback so I quickly added, "but in a pinch her hand'll do the job."

Women are like numbers If they are under 18 just do them in your head

How do cannibals freshen their breath? Men toes.

Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? Cause you know he is actually guilty.

A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them. Her husband confused looks down and goes, “What’s that for?"His wife replies, “For the flowers of course."He thinks for a moment and asks, “Don’t we have a vase?"

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

30 percent of pet owners let their pets sleep in their bed. I tried it and my goldfish died.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

I haven’t talked to my wife in a week — I didn’t want to interrupt her.

It really takes guts to be an organ donor.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.

Why did the Tortoise's wife leave him for the Rabbit? Real men come second.

If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from? Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.

Two cowboys are stranded in the desert... One cowboy sees a tree covered in bacon in the distance. He gets all excited and runs towards the bacon tree... As he reaches the bacon tree he gets shot to death. It turns out it wasn't a bacon tree... It was a hambush