The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.

I failed my driving test today. The instructor asked me, “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”

I dreamt about drowing in an ocean made of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta Sea.

What’s the difference between the “China Virus” and the Vietnam War? Trump dodged the Vietnam War.

An Alligator sees you later, a Crocodile sees you in awhile. When does a Caiman see you? This isn't a joke, I want answers. Please. I've never wanted to know anything more.

Why we rarely see male live streaming masturbation like camgirls? Because the stream ends in 2 minutes!

Customer to half deaf hooker: "How much for another romp?" Half deaf hooker: "Come again?" Customer: "Yes."

A Republican walks into a college bookstore and asks the proprietor, "I'm looking for Trump's new book on illegal immigration?" The owner says "GET THE FUCK OUT!"The Republican responds "Yeah! That's the one!"

I dispute those studies that claim people often die from smoking. My uncle smoked, and he only died once.

I remember my first breath. Sadly I'm now addicted.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.

What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.

At the job interview, they asked me, 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.