The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

My Grandparents passed away together last night. He went peacefully in his sleep, but she was apparently distraught before dying, screaming and crying hysterically I guess we really should've taken away his license

An old friend of mine married a young girl As we’re not exactly young ourselves, I was curious how he held up, and asked him how often they had sex. “Almost every day,” he said.“Almost every day?!” I exclaimed.“Yes, almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...”

What do you call a guy with two dicks? Ambidextrous.

What do fat girls and scooters have in common? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

Why is it always crowded in a sperm bank? Because people are paid to come.Why'd you think sperm donations are really expensive, because they're handmadeBut Its hardwork tho, it takes alo of balls to do it, whatever you thing you on regular that's nutting.

I was banned from the airport last week Apparently security doesn't like it when you call shotgun while boarding the plane

My girlfriend said she want's to try some condom's with something inside to increase her pleasure. I said "what is that" she said "other men's dick's"

I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I? >!Gum!<

I asked 10 people what LGTBQ standed for… Couldn’t get a straight answer!

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we 'be positive,' but it’s just so hard without him.

My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean.

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people—the student, his mama, and his pauper.

Struggling to think of what to buy someone for Christmas? Get theme a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.

I wish my gray hair started in Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.