The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Got my second shot now..... Waiting for the bartender to come back so that I can have a third shot.

Two Texan cops arrive at a crime scene... Cop 1, after inspecting the body of the black victim: "I've counted 28 gunshots."Cop 2: "Wow, this might be the nastiest suicide I've ever seen!"

Why did the Helium atom feel lonely? No one wanted to bond with it would be a logical answer. The truth is, it is just an asshole!

Did you hear Trump is going back to television? Yeah. He has signed on with The Biggest Loser.

A redneck couple gets pregnant, what will they have? Either a niece or a nephew.

Two Blonde Girls chatting. Blonde 1: I understand how you get Bob from Robert& Bill from William, but how do you get Dick from Richard?Blonde 2: Show him your Pussy.....

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

I asked 10 people what LGTBQ standed for… Couldn’t get a straight answer!

I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is open Mike night!

I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.