The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Shouldn’t the “roof ' of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!'

What did the Japanese cannibal eat for dinner? Raw men

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you?

I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

A man lost his tongue in an accident. He was most upset that he could no longer enjoy his food, so he searched for a surgeon that would do a transplant. Finally he found an organ doner and paid $25k for the procedure... ...later, he had to admit that the new tongue wasn't the same as before, but still it was an acquired taste.

My boss is really into health eating, but Friday is his cheat day... ...which is when he fucks his secretary.

When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this... Iran

Gordon Ramsay teaches a sex-ed class “The way you make babies is FUCKING RAW!!”

In Soviet Russia policeman questioning a man: *This body is your mother in law, yes?***Yes***How did she die?***Mushroom poisoning***But why does she have 26 stab wounds?***She was refusing to eat them**

I had a one night stand, and afterwards she used my toothbrush I made kind of a big deal about it, because that’s pretty grossShe said, “Well we just had sex, what’s the difference?”I said, “*Well* I was planning on using that toothbrush again”

I was digging in my garden this morning and found some gold coins. I was really excited and rushed inside to tell the prostitute about it but then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

How do you know coronavirus is an historic event? Forrest Gump is involved. .