The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

Why can’t you eat Wookie meat? Because it’s too chewy…

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Samuel L. Jackson is in a field surrounded by 100 rakes. "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER-FUCKING RAKES ON THIS MOTHER-FUCKING PLAIN!"

Signing up for Marine biology this semester was disappointing. I never learned what’s going on in Le Pen’s head.

My wife once said, “Sex is better during vacation”. That was not a nice postcard to receive.

A guy and his girlfriend were getting frisky, and he says “I’m pretty good, god-like even” as he starts to go down on her. “Oh god! Oh god!” she’s screaming and thinks “he really is god-like” as she finishes with an “ooooooh gooooooood!”. He lifts his head, spits in the water glass on the night stand, and proclaims, “Red wine!!”

Women are like parking spaces All the good ones are taken so when no ones looking you put it in a disabled one

Just put my father's ashes in the bin. I wish he'd stop smoking or just empty the tray himself.

You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you and you're being chased by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

I watched a film about a giant crocodile with erectile dysfunction.... Lake Flaccid.

Reddit has gone fully green to help the environment. Their front page is made of 100% recycled material.

I just found out that there are at least three different ways that temperature is measured I learned about it from my local K-F-C