The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

I’ll never tell my accountant a joke again. He just depreciates them.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

Your wife and daughter look like twins,' my friend said. 'Well,' I replied, 'they were separated at birth.'

Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.'

How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?' 'You follow the fresh prints.'

What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.'

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.

A buddy asked how many fish I caught. I told him it’s not polite to fish and tell.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

I hated facial hair but then it grew on me.

My wife said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?” And I thought, “that’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”