The Best (and Worst) Daily Dad Joke of the Day 👋

I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic...It’s called the Plaguestation 5.

While my wife was giving birth, I bent down and whispered "You're nearly there, keep going...keep going. Just keep your eyes closed and breathe slow." "Thanks," said the doctor, "I've just never seen a vagina this ugly."

A Tree Falls In A Rainforest And Nobody Notices But Me "Ha ha ha! My illegal tree cutting business is working!"

Me: "i'm terrified of those big empty spaces people yell into." Therapist: "A void."Me: "Good advice, thank you."

“Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”

Since I like helping the environment and recycling/reusing things I searched for a place with like-minded people. After a few days I finally found where they reuse and recycle almost everything: r/Jokes

What sort of dice has its opinions formed by preconceived notions? A prejudice

The first thing Santa's elves learn in school is their elf-abet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?'

My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge. We’ll see about that…

How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? You will see one later and one in a while.

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this.

Scientist: My invention can creat matter in all three forms. Gas, liquid and solid. My asshole: You know, I’m something of a scientist myself.