The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
At a crowded funeral for a popular well known man, the wife stands finally to ask “Would any of you who knew Jim like to say a few words?” An older gentleman from the back shuffled forward, took a deep breathe, and stated loudly “PLETHORA SHITLOAD FUCKTON” The wife hugged the man firmly, and said “Thanks. That means so much.”
"I'm telling you one last time ", a doctor yells at his nurse "When you're filling a death certificate, you put the name of illness under cause of death, not the name of the supervising physician!"
Doctor walks into a bank to make a deposit.... Teller says, “Can you sign the deposit slip please?”.Doctor reaches into his pocket and brings out a rectal thermometer. He looks at it and then shakes his head. “Aw crap” he says, “some asshole’s got my pen!”
I asked 10 people what LGTBQ standed for… Couldn’t get a straight answer!
Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year
"Grandma, have you seen my LSD?" Grandma replies "Fuck the LSD, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"
Man was reading his wife's suicide note Then he thought he could be a wonderful writer
6.9 is my worst and least favorite number That is because it is 69 that was ruined by a period
Who do you go to to get your hair and makeup done during this pandemic? A mortician Do you want an appointment? Keep going outside !
Two Gals were sitting at the corner talking ... One saw her boyfriend coming up the street with a bunch of flowers. "Oh great" she said. " Now I'll have to lay on my back with my legs spread all weekend."Her friend replied "Why ? Don't you have a vase ?"
Little Jimmy puts his hand up in class: "Miss! Miss! I have to go to the toilet, quick!" The teacher replies: "Not until you say the alphabet." So Little Jimmy recites: "ABCDEFGJKLMNOPQRUVWXYZ" The teacher raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me," she says, "but where's the S, H, I and T?" Little Jimmy just sighs. "...In my pants..."
What's a lawyer's favorite drink? Subpoena colada.
A husband says to his wife, “My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I’ll wear Gold tonight.” A husband says to his wife, “My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I’ll wear Gold tonight.”The wife replies, “Why not wear silver and come second for a change?”
If size doesn't matter... Then why is my wife's dildo not 3 inches long and crooked?
I always turn my room temperature just below 70 degrees before I go to sleep. Why? Because it doesn't get hotter than 69 in my bed.