The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent.'

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.

This morning, Siri said, 'Don’t call me Shirley.' I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.

I hate Velcro. It's a rip off.

Why did Hitler wear eye glasses? Because without them he could Nazi.

My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean.

What happened when the ten-year-old cannibal spilled his soup? His mother gave him an earful.

How do you teach kids about taxes? Eat 38% of their ice cream.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

What happened when the ten-year-old cannibal spilled his soup? His mother gave him an earful.

If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?'

Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately yes, she said the others were all nines or tens!

Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately yes, she said the others were all nines or tens!