The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

Man was reading his wife's suicide note Then he thought he could be a wonderful writer

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, 'That’s arson.'

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, 'That’s arson.'

Where do armies belong? In your sleeves.

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.

i read on the internet there's a lot of people shooting heroin ...how is that guy still alive?

Virgin Boyfriend and girl had first sexIt was wild and passionate After sex boyfriend said :B: If a knew you where a virgin I would have waited more G: If I knew you would wait I would have taken my pantyhose off

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends? In an explosion.

Executives at Monsanto have announced an initiative to genetically alter deer for increased movement speed. Those assholes will do anything to make a quick buck

California scientists are studying the impact of cannabis seeds from the farms will have on the local seabird population Apparently they are being thorough and are leaving no tern unstoned

So I was all dressed in latex whipping my slave when they kept on yelling someone else's safe word. Then I realized this was my Wednesday appointment and not my Thursday appointment. Whoops, wrong sub.

Dad cooks dinner. He gives his kids deer meat, but doesn't tell them but gives them a clue.Dad: What kind of meat is this, it's something mom calls me every day.Sarah: OMG Billy, It's an asshole don't eat it.

Limmerick from The Crown on Netflix There once was a girl named Sally Who enjoyed the occasional dallyShe sat on the lapOf a well-endowed chapAnd cried "Sir! You're right up my alley."

Saw a fat chick wearing a shirt that said “guess” So I said about 340, now she wants to fight

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.