The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

One single day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was handed a letter and thought to myself.. .. this isn't for me.

You know what the scientists always say to build up resistance to distractions and channel nature Ohmmmmmmmmmmmm

I once went out with a girl who had really bad eczema on her chest... She had a cracking pair of tits.

Accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card today... my groceries ended up costing me an arm and a leg

I looked her up and down and said girl your looking fine Then she pulled out a penis that was twice the size of mine

i was just reading the obituary of a carmelite nun who turned away from a life of prostitution after seeing a vision of the virgin mary. she went out with a wimple and not a bang.

Prince Philip meets Diana in heaven So Prince Philip enters the pearly gates and one of the first people he sees is Diana - whom he notoriously didn't like."Hello my dear, what a lovely halo you have," he says."Fuck off Philip, you know it's a steering wheel."

Governor of NYC Andrew Cuomo is starring in a New Sitcom Spinoff It will be called: How I killed your Grandmother

Hey girl, are you made of Copper, Nitrogen, Terbium, and Silver? Because you are a CuNTbAg.

[NSFW] I was blown away... When I found out I had been selected by IS for the next round of suicide missions

I lost both arms to a motorcycle accident. I think there’s something wrong with my legs too but I just can’t put my finger on it.

My dad has colon cancer It's shitty.

Remember, there’s a simple mnemonic device to remember month length: “30 days hath September; April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, Excepting February, who can fuck off, son. Pay the same bills but get less time And guess if you get 28 or 29.”

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

I can sum up 2021 in one word. Five