The Best (and Worst) Jokes About Your Dad 👋

What do you call a penguin in the White House? Lost.

I saw this black guy running with a new television. I called police because it looked like mine. The police checked and It was OK. Mine was still home doing yard work.

How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?? One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

Clothes, but no cigar.

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”

I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said 'You stay here, i'll go on a head'.

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom!

If I had a medal for every time I've gotten to the two minute timer on my electric toothbrush... I still wouldn't have enough metal for all the damn cavities.

I have a joke about butter, but I’m not going to spread it.

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

I was struggling to pick up a bottle of water in Morrisons the other day, so I turned to the woman working there and said "Why is this bottle so difficult to lift?" She responded "That's because it's an Evian"Edit 1: Thanks for the awards kind stranger!!!!!Edit 2: I've never got this many awards! I wish I could give you all one back!!!

There's a country in Asia that has a new use for dogs... Pets!

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.