The Best (and Worst) Jokes About Your Dad 👋

Where’s the one place you should never take your dog? A flea market.

I can always tell when my wife is lying just by looking at her. I can also tell when she’s standing.

Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well!

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

“What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years? The letter M.”

My kid gave me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. At least she inherited my sense of humor.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

I hear the weather in Saudi Arabia is very Sunni... But the weather in Iran is Shiite.

A man named his children second, minute and hour, and thus he was nicknamed father time One day, they was all in their house and a robber burst through the front door and said, 'nobody move!' When recalling the event, second said, it was like time stood still'

My asian aunt's quiet daughter is called Nosai Hai.I think thats a great shy niece name.

So my niece ask me where babies come from, I told her that they come from the stork She then looked at me puzzled and asked, "who fucked the stork."

A businesswoman from Connecticut has a meeting in Alabama. Her meeting done, she stops at a local bar for a quick drink.Her bartender, noting her northern accent, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did you go to school?"She smiles and says, "Yale."He says, "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"

A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even own bikes