The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

Two peanuts went walking down the street. One was assaulted.

In the beef army there was a soldier who always snuck up on the enemy from the left or right. He was a flank steak.

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.

Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.

Why should you never hit people with violins?? Because violins is not the answer...

A Native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar. The bartender walks over and says, "Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?"

A guy walks into a convenience store, and he grabs a single-serving meal, a single-serving drink, a single-serving toothpaste, a single-serving dessert, single-serving everything, and he goes up to the counter with it. The woman at the counter says, "Let me guess, you're single?" And he says, "Yeah, how could you tell?" And she says, "Because you're really fucking ugly."

A guy is introducing himself to a lady in a bar Him : Hi my name is Daniel but my friends call me DickHer : how do you get Dick from Daniel ?Him : you ask nicely ...

I bet Santa spends a lot of time at strip clubs He loves them ho ho ho’s

What’s the difference between the “China Virus” and the Vietnam War? Trump dodged the Vietnam War.

What’s a Prostitute’s favorite part of leaving a tall building? Going down on the elevator

My niece calls me ankle... I call here kneesWe are a joint family!

Whenever I get jury duty, I never make it through jury selection After all, no one wants a hung jury

Why doesn't Mexico host the Olympic games? All the good runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the US.

A baby seal walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The baby seal answers, “Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks.”