The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

Can I dive in this pool? It deep-ends.

My wife asked why I didn’t buy her flowers. To be fair, I didn’t know she sold flowers.

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

I absolutely love and admire the unintellignt, overweight, yellowish-orange skinned man with the bad combover covering his baldness who has had his finger on the nuclear button all these years... Wait... I was talking about Homer Simpson, who did you think I meant?

I'm a bipolar Star Trek fan. I just went to the hospital to have my dilithium level checked.

Axe should make a deodorant called "English." Then if you wear it you can say you have an "English Axe scent."

Mediterranean food doesn't agree with me.. I think it's too Greecey

What disease do you get from buying too many Toyotas? Corollavirus. Symptoms include fever, cough, really good gas mileage and you run for 250,000 miles.

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.