The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

A man is walking along the road when he sees his mother in law being attacked by five men. His wife asks, "Aren't you going to help?". The man says no five should be enough.

When I awoke from my operation A nurse was leaning over me and said "you may not feel anything from the waist down." So I fondled her tits.

Today I’m working with my father in law He’s getting pretty good at it, I can just tell he’s gonna be a lawyer in no time.

Wise words from my grandmother. Not all strippers are prostitutes, and not all Romanian girls are strippers. Some are also prostitutes.

Friend: Going back to colonizing lands would be amazing Me: Yeah exactly! The best part about it is there is no consent

A guy walking down the road ,comes across a farmer. This farmer has boxes upon upon boxes of peaches, in the middle of nowhere mind you. The guy, buys a few peaches and asks the farmer, “what do you do with this massive amount of peaches”The farmer replies ‘well we sell what we can, and what we can’t we can.’

Fisherman caught the golden shark *Please let me go and I`ll have you one wish come true*, said the shark.*I want my dick to be so long that it reaches the ground*, answered the fisherman.*Ok*, said the shark and bit his legs.

Friendly Letters When I saw the letter h-i while reading the alphabet, I thought I finally had made a friend........ but the I saw the next two letters...

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: - Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.- - - Jane ate her friend’s colon.

A clown and a little kid were walking hand in hand down a dark deserted forest path and the little kid says "Gosh, it's spooky in here!" And the clown says "What are you scared about? I gotta walk back all alone!"

A man attacks a woman wearing a fur coat.. ..and shouts at her angrily - "Do you have any idea how many minks had to die for you to wear that fur??""It is not mink, it's polyester!""Doesn't matter!! Do you know how many polyesters had to die!?"

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks, "First offender?"The woman replies, "No judge, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"

So a couple of farmers are standing around talking. One goes you know, "I had a bull who just wouldn't breed anything, so I took him to the vet and she gave me some pills to give to him. Well he bred all of my cows and jumped the fence and bred all of the neighbors cows!" The other farmer looked at him and asked what kind of pills they were and the first one responds, "I don't know, but they kinda taste like mint."

What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you.

What did the banana say to the boy? Nothing, bananas can't talk!