The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention... Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?

I went on a blind date. I saw this lovely girl and said to her are you Susan?She said are you Brian?.. I said yes I am: All exited..She said no my name is Sharon.

LPT: The key to job security is not just cultivating a strong relationship with your boss, but your boss' boss as well. Having constant open dialogue, strengthening trust, and exhibiting vulnerability is key especially during periods of layoffs... That way over time you'll hopefully build up enough black mail material to against them in case they ever want to fire you.

I tried to cheer myself up by having a pillow fight. Now I feel more down than I did before.

i came home yesterday with 2 armchairs and a sofa that a kind man gave me in the park my dad got angry at me for taking suites from strangers

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything! They make up everything!

What's a botanist's favorite musical instrument? A xylem phloem.

I can't follow these instructions on how to apply fake eyebrows They are way over my head

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.'

If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?

I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.

Not sure if you have noticed, but I love bad puns. That’s just how eye roll.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.