The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I'm just a bit slow.

I tried to buy perfume from a vending machine, but it was out of odor.

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon. It wasn't a great day at the zoo.

What do you call a sweatshirt on the ledge of the tower bridge? A jumper!

People whose jobs require them to enter someone else's house, such as plumbers and electricians, what is the weirdest thing you've seen at a customer's house? My wife.

‌‌I m‌‌et a‌‌ g‌‌irl a‌‌t a‌‌ c‌‌lub t‌‌he o‌‌ther n‌‌ight &‌‌ s‌‌he t‌‌old m‌‌e s‌‌he'd s‌‌how m‌‌e a‌‌ g‌‌ood t‌‌ime. When w‌‌e g‌‌ot o‌‌utside, s‌‌he r‌‌an a‌‌ 4‌‌0 y‌‌ard d‌‌ash i‌‌n 4‌‌.8 s‌‌econds.

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His drill slipped.

My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule. Doesn't exist by definition.

My stomach is flat. The L is silent. ..

I was talking to my physics teacher... Teacher: hey, do you know what salt lake city is?Me: yeahTeacher: cool, you know what den city is?Me: no?Teacher: oh, its mass over volume

What do you call a spider that has its left legs on the right side and right legs on the left side A daddy wrong legs

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor. More on this after the break.

When my parents were getting divorced, I was given a choice to go with my mom or dad. I chose my mom. I left my dad for milk.

A cow and a cat are chatting in a field... ...and ultimately don't quite come to agreement on the topic of discussion. The cat walks off smarmily and says, "Well, see you later, prime rib." And the cow replies, "Yep, see you later, Kung Pao Chicken."