The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

I take Viagra for my sun burn... It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs when I sleep.

What do you call british womans periods? Bloody hell.

"My boyfriend was slept with by you!" I heard one girl shout at another in the mall. "Your reputation will be ruined by this! YOU'RE GONNA BE KILLED BY ME!!""Why is she talking like that?" I asked my friend. "Oh, don't mind her," he said. "She's just really passive aggressive."

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the backdoor."Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that everyday.

A guy shows up late for work The boss yells, "You should’ve been here at 8.30!"He replies, "Why? What happened at 8.30?"

Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So i bought her a candle.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

I hate Velcro. It's a rip off.

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there's a salad dressing.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we 'be positive,' but it’s just so hard without him.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.