The Best (and Worst) Worst & Cringey Dad Jokes 👋

All vampires keep their money in a special place—the blood bank.

What’s the best kind of bird to work for a construction company? A crane.

Did the hear about the ice cream truck accident? It crashed on a rocky road.

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows — they're making headlines!

A cop started crying while he was writing me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, "It's a moving violation."

A father tells his son that he was adopted. “I want to meet my biological parents,” the son demands. “We are your biological parents,” the father responds. “Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.”

I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I'm just a bit slow.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

I tried to buy perfume from a vending machine, but it was out of odor.

A dentist looks into a patient's mouth and says, "That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen. That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "I heard you the first time," says the patient. "You didn't need to say it the second time.""I didn't," says the dentist. "That was my echo."

New name for weight loss pills Pills of mass destruction!

What would you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster? Your funding taken away and a call from the ethics board.

People whose jobs require them to enter someone else's house, such as plumbers and electricians, what is the weirdest thing you've seen at a customer's house? My wife.

Went to the doctor today and rasped, "There seems to be a few spoons and forks stuck in my throat." He chuckled, "It's not that serious but..." "You'll need to have utensils taken out."

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