The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Wrote a joke about a lizard to get some internet points. A Karma Chameleon.

"What do you think lies there, on the other side?", I asked my father as he took his last breathes... He replied, "I don't know son, but I'm dying to find out."

I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "Have you sold anything yet?" I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."

Tinfoil: Viserys Targaryen is a hipster. He wore a crown before it was cool.

my dad tells a dad joke so i tell my dad "im cold" and he responds with "go stand in the corner its 90 degrees

Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive. (Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren)

Meghan may face some akward times with the Royal Family at the funeral of Prince Philip But luckily, black is generally accepted at funerals.

It’s Passover and a Jewish guy is eating his lunch in the park. A blind man sits down next to him, so the Jewish guy offers him some of his lunch—a piece of matzoh. The blind man takes it, fingers it a moment, and says, “Who writes this crap?"

What do witches use to make their hair look perfect? Scare spray.

When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

SpongeBob may be the main character of the show. But Patrick is the star.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, 'You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.' 'Now settle down,' the doctor calmly told him. 'You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.'

A father tells his son that he was adopted. “I want to meet my biological parents,” the son demands. “We are your biological parents,” the father responds. “Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.”

If a pig loses its voice…does it become disgruntled?

I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.