The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Did you guys hear that Nicolas Cage robbed all the coins from a bank recently? Luckily he got caught and went to jail, plus all of the money got returned! He’s currently in a Nickleless Nicolas Cage Cage

“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.” “Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”

A guy has to go to dinner at a fancy restaurant, but he forgot his tie so he used jumper cables. The maître d' says "I'll let ya in, but don't start anything."

I'm gonna lose my mind if someone says they cant breathe or talk wearing a face mask I had a girl in my basement for seven months wearing a ball gag and she's fine

I used to have an excessive amount of hair on my upper torso I’m sorry, I just had to get it off my chest

A little boy with Downs runs to his dad to show him a drawing he made... "Excellent son, good job!" The dad says. "I'd rate this 47/46."

How did the Jewish onion greet his cousin? Shallot.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? because he wanted space

What do Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and the hitchhiker in my car have in common? They are both in an advanced state of D composition.

What’s the longest sentence in the English language? ‘I do’.

Only a bank ATM will charge you $3 to get your money back Then tell you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed.

The orange asked the melon: "Hey, want to get married?" The melon said: "Sorry, I canteloupe"

Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels "you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"

What's the difference between a Halfing and a Hobbit? Copyright

When Kenny Loggins was vacationing in Israel, how did he get to Bethlehem? He took the Highway to the Manger Zone.