The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
I have a few jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.
My dad was born a conjoined twin, but separated at birth. So I have an uncle, once removed.
Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist? He needed to get crowns.
What sort of room has no windows or doors? A mushroom!
What do you call recently-married spiders? Newly-webs.
“I saw a 1,000-year-old oil stain; it was from ancient Greece.”
My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn!
Did you hear about the girl who quit her job at the doughnut factory? She was fed up with the hole business.
Which knight of the round table was the beefiest? Sir loin.
Why do melons have weddings? They cantaloupe!
Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta, and we’re penneless.