The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with one dollar ...and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, face powder etc..Grandson: Nowadays it's difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said. "You know, one would have been enough."

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!

A man found a magic lamp with a genie that offered him three wishes. The man said, "For my first wish, I'd like to be rich." "Okay, Rich," said the genie. "What would you like for your second wish?"

Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

My wife told me she didn't understand cloning. I told her, 'That makes two of us.'

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.

Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.

Just look at that couple down the road,' a wife told her husband. 'He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?' 'Are you insane?' he responded. 'I barely know the woman!'

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said 'parking fine.'

England doesn't have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.

In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.