The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
How do you fix a pumpkin with a hole in it? With a pumpkin patch!
My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I posted on Facebook, “I’m getting a divorce,” she was the first one to like it.
Why does a husband lead a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable.
“Just look at that couple down the road,” a wife told her husband. “He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?” “Are you insane?” he responded. “I barely know the woman!”
Finally learned why you can't use a wooden spoon on a Teflon pan It's non-stick
Ah,school stuff Teacher: Do you know the answer to question *B*? Student: No. Teacher: You need to spend more time studying. Student: Well, do you know Sophie? Teacher: No, why? Student: **You need to spend more time with your husband.**
My drama professor said I had to write 5,000 words on Robert De Niro I only managed three before his private bodyguards wrenched me off him.
Bet you can’t guess how I got out of Iraq I invaded Kuwait
My great grandfather got me an IPad for my birthday. My so-so grandfather got me a pair of socks.
A plastic surgeon at Johns Hopkins just performed surgery on a child born without eyelids, circumcising him and replaced the missing lids with the harvested tissue. The boy's new eyelids work almost perfectly and, since they were made from his own tissue, rejection won't be a problem. When speaking to reporters, though, the surgeon admitted that the boy does look a little cockeyed.
I used to believe there was an ocean of soda. Then I came to terms that it was just a fanta sea.
What happens to the soldiers who are supposed to be deployed to Iraq? They sit and Kuwait.