The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I went to the Opticians today and at the end she asked if I was married or in a relationship... I said "yes I am, why?"She said "Well your eyes are fine but your girlfriend needs to come in for a checkup ASAP!"

What’s the difference between a professional fisherman and a teenage boy? One’s a master baiter, the other’s a masturbator!

Husband asked his wife: Honey,what do you do after we have fight?The wife replied: I go clean the toiletHusband was all confused and asks her: But why?She says: Because I do it with your toothbrush

TIL Out of boredom and to create more band chemistry early in their careers, the Ramones used to go on single's cruises together around New York harbour looking to pick up chicks. They wanted to be sea dated.

NSFW What did the egg say to the boiling water? I just got laid and you expect me to be hard in3 minutes?!?

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.

Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.'

I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?' 'Pilgrims.'

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, 'When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.' 'Oh yeah?' the son retorts. 'Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.'

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

I just got my doctor's test results and I’m really upset. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.

I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.