The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Are you made of gold, 2 titanium sulfur and carbon? Because you’re autistic

Did you know that the Earth’s gravity increases a bit on Easter Sunday? It’s cuz there’s a lot more mass.

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis... it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

What do you call an ISIS member who owns 6 goats? A pimp

A German and an Englishman are having a conversation in the park when suddenly a young girl falls into the lake. They both rush in to save her, but when they emerge she’s unconscious.The Englishman asks the German if they know the number for emergency services.“999.”The Englishman replies, “fine, I’ll call them myself.”

What do you call a possum that goes back for seconds on soup A more-soupial

Dear Humans, You get mad at me when I work....You get mad at me when I don't work.Sincerely, Confused alarm clock.

The interactive Netflix film Bandersnatch was so successful, they're creating another interactive film all about Donald Trump. It's called Grabbed-her-snatch.

I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

I asked 10 people what LGTBQ standed for… Couldn’t get a straight answer!

A son tells his father, 'I have an imaginary girlfriend.' The father sighs and says, 'You know, you could do better.' 'Thanks Dad,' the son says. 'That means a lot.' The father shakes his head and goes, 'I was talking to your girlfriend.'

I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

my school held a seminar on holding orgasms. nobody came.

‌‌I wa‌‌s walkin‌‌g wit‌‌h m‌‌y girlfrien‌‌d whe‌‌n ‌‌a rando‌‌m gu‌‌y whistle‌‌d a‌‌t he‌‌r an‌‌d sai‌‌d, "Nic‌‌e ass"‌‌. Sh‌‌e wa‌‌s clearl‌‌y annoye‌‌d an‌‌d demande‌‌d ‌‌I sa‌‌y something. S‌‌o ‌‌I turne‌‌d aroun‌‌d an‌‌d said, "Than‌‌k yo‌‌u I'v‌‌e bee‌‌n doin‌‌g squats."