The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes That Make You Groan 👋

Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says, “I want to organise the deportation of 10,000 Muslims and one kitten. Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Mike Pence says. “Mr. President, why do you want to deport a kitten?” Trump smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Muslims.”

I got a bit bored on a long highway drive and started scrolling through the various voice choices on my GPS. There was a USA accent, a French accent and even an Australian accent. Then I noticed "Wife mode". So I selected it, and nothing seemed to happen, until about 10 miles later the GPS said,"So, if I died, would you get a new GPS?""

I asked my cat, "how are you?" He said he was, "feline fine"

So apparently Julie Andrews (best known for playing Mary Poppins) will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick... She claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement, she said, “The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years? Church.

A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I haven’t talked to my wife in a week — I didn’t want to interrupt her.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off? He's all right now!

Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.

I have a great joke about nepotism. But I’ll only tell it to my kids.

I had a joke about canned juice, but I couldn't concentrate.

I talked to a poet who only wrote about wells. His stuff was deep.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

I have a joke about a roof, but it would just go over your head.