The Best (and Worst) Daily Dad Joke of the Day 👋

Where do polar bears keep their money? The snow bank.

Best way to vaccinate the masses Train all of the Amazon drivers to give it. Everyone will have it by Saturday. Thursday if you have Prime.

Where’s my pillow? Not at Bed Bath and Beyond

True story. Chicago-area preschool teacher teaching remotely today because of the storms. Her dogs started barking like crazy, interrupting the Zoom. She looked out her window and told/apologized to the class that the shovelers were there. 4 year old classmate replies, “Wow, your shovelers sound like dogs!”Been laughing at that one all day.

I told my husband I hate my haircut. He replied, "Don't worry, it'll grow on you."

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

My grandmother was famous for growing delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on top of her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited.I fulfilled my promise.She’s dead and berried.

What is a calendar’s favorite food? Dates.

You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there? European.

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.

I went to the dentist and they said I need a crown, I thought "recognition at last"

What was the budget for The Room? Cheap, cheap, cheap!