The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋
Prepare for the most horrible & terrible dad jokes that are so bad, they’re hilarious! These jokes are filled with cheesy punchlines and puns that will make you laugh, groan, and possibly question your life choices. Perfect for anyone who loves the charm of truly awful humor, our horrible & terrible dad jokes are guaranteed to deliver a fun (if not slightly cringeworthy) experience. Explore the worst of dad jokes and enjoy the groans they bring!
I went to a expensive restaurant last night and I got a meal and a bottle of champagne for free. They do it for everyone who jumps out of the toilet window and runs off.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?" That's about as far as I remember.
What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth? Don't copy Michelle on this one.
A plastic surgeon at Johns Hopkins just performed surgery on a child born without eyelids, circumcising him and replaced the missing lids with the harvested tissue. The boy's new eyelids work almost perfectly and, since they were made from his own tissue, rejection won't be a problem. When speaking to reporters, though, the surgeon admitted that the boy does look a little cockeyed.
My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man stammered, "Yes."Bang! The robber shoots him.He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"
A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore. It's called Prose and Khans.
What do you call an actor thats a program? What do you call a guy thats an actor and a program?Matt Daemon Tools.
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
How does 69 differ from a family reunion? During 69, you only see 1 asshole!
Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
It’s brave to admit you have an STD. Always clap for those folks!
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, “I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.” The patient asks him, “Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him and says, “Nine.”