The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

I went to my local library to look for a book on small penises With not alot of luck I decided to ask the librarian - "Have you seen the book about small penises?" she replied "It isn't in yet" I said "Yeah, that's the one!"

There was a ninja who attacked people with high-powered semen. No one would ever see him coming.

Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die

I accidentally locked myself out of my bathroom. I'm pissed.

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off

What is the most calming scent? Chloroform

I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn’t dig it.

What's dead, brown, and covered in sand? Shamima Begum's kids.

I went to go visit my wife but when she saw me she got scared and locked the door. I'm not surprised. I am pretty angry that she didn't come to my funeral.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink *Shout outs to my neighbor's eight year old

What's the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn't beat cancer.

I was out shopping with the wife when we came across a group of young ladies wearing mini skirts. I said, “ooh look at them legs! I bet you had legs like them.” She didn’t answer but I think she was upset since I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp to Walmart.

Little Lisa came home and told her mother she got $5 from the boys to climb a tree Her mother smiled and said: “They only wanted to peek at your panties under your dress.”“I know”, said Lisa, “But I fooled them. I took off my panties before I climbed!”

When my girlfriend and I break up and she screws 10 guys, she's an "empowered woman" But when I do it I'm "gay".

I understand why Jesus was crucified But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher.