The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

Careful how many corny jokes you tell. Someone may just call the crops!

Did you hear about the outlet who got in a fight with the power cord? He thought he could socket to him.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What do you want?" The man says, "Oh, just some fruit punch." The bartender sighs and shakes his head, "If you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line." The man looks around, but there is no punchline.

I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys.

TIL there are over 20,000 battered women in the U.S. everyday... I don't know if I can ever go back to eating them plain...

My niece did nothing with her life. She just sat in her womb all day.

Saw an old friend yesterday. As a joke I grabbed his hand and made him hit him self while I joked, "Why are you hiring yourself? Stop hitting yourself!" His wife screamed and cried and the funeral director asked me to leave. Goddamn Philistines....

Why we rarely see male live streaming masturbation like camgirls? Because the stream ends in 2 minutes!

Don't you hate it when you're trying to have a nap and there's an alarm blaring in the background? I just had to smash my carbon monoxide alarm to bits, it was giving me a bloody headache.

What do you have to do to get Germans to join a war? You don't have to do anything, they're already at the front.

Guess how i escaped Iraq.. IranSYRIASLY

Little boy runs to his mother yelling "Mommy, dad hung himself in the bathroom!" Panicked mom runs to the bathroom only to see it's empty. "Haha Aprli Fools!" laughs the boy "He hung himself in the basement."

I performed an opening one night for a surgeon, really funny guy They kicked me out of the hospital and called the cops

I have the best idea to tackle over-population Send your kids after John Wick

Snow isn't a problem in the Middle East ...but ISIS