The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

Apparently its illegal to show some cartoons in the middle east Most cities won't screen episodes of The Flintstones but Abu Dhabi doooooooo

At a crowded funeral for a popular well known man, the wife stands finally to ask “Would any of you who knew Jim like to say a few words?” An older gentleman from the back shuffled forward, took a deep breathe, and stated loudly “PLETHORA SHITLOAD FUCKTON” The wife hugged the man firmly, and said “Thanks. That means so much.”

Donald Trump and Michael Pence are having a race from the roof of a very tall building. They both decide to jump down, as it’s the fastest way down. Who wins? Society

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.

“Whoever stole my depression medication — I hope you’re happy now.”

I got vaccinated today It was one of those drive thru deals where you don’t leave your car. Right before the nurse injects me she says “little prick”. So I called her a fat bitch and drove off. What’s wrong with people these days?

People not wanting to wearing masks is natural. Natural selection.

The police were called to a NASCAR event when belligerent fans became violent after being asked to remove the Confederate flags they had brought to the event. Authorities believe it to be race-related.

Mark and his wife were driving along a country road. They weren't speaking to each other due to an earlier argument. As they passed a particularly rural stretch, they spotted a couple of monkeys in the treetops. "Relatives of yours?", asked Mark sarcastically."Yes," she replied. "My in-laws."

I would appreciate it if we stopped posting Holocaust Jokes. They're not funny, witty, or humorous. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell off the Guard Tower

Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government." "Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the poison?" answered Peter.