The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

NSFW: A woman answers the phone and there's heavy breathing on the line. A pervy voice said "I bet you have a bald asshole" She says "Ah, you want to speak to my husband"

A suicide bomber in a pet shop A suicide bomber enters a pet shop and announces... "everybody has only one minute to get out of here..."Tortoise: Fuck :-/

Never buy your hard drugs from the Roto-Rooter guy... Plumber's crack is nasty

What do you call a serious man with a scythe that sneaks around outside people’s windows? The grim peeper.

It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit.

Today i asked myself the question: Do I identify myself as a man or a woman. But then I knew after I spilled my coffee, I am just a disappointment.

An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar The bartender says"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"

Police arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states: solid, liquid, and gas.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

Did you heard about the giant that threw up? It's all over town!

My grandmother died recently. We had her cremated. I think that’s what killed her.

BREAKING NEWS: A shipment of Viagra has just been stolen The police are still on the lookout for the hardened criminals

It's not the size of the ship, nor the motion of the ocean... It's whether or not the captain stays in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.

Why can’t 2 Asian people make a white child baby cause 2 wongs don’t make a white