The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

I don't understand why women like to have so many pillows on the bed.. You need only one to smother your husband.

What did Trump say when he was told there were Brazilian astronauts in space? Another Trump record. No one has ever heard of this many astronauts in Space.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a vacuum cleaner? The Harley holds the dirtbag on the outside.

Why is prostitution illegal? It's the opposite of the constitution.

Walking past a pet shop, a sign said; ‘Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale.’ I didn’t believe they were from the Netherlands so I went into the shop and asked the assistant... ‘How Dutch is that moggie in the window?’.

A man gets home and sees his wife pleasuring herself with a cucumber "What are you doing?" he shouts, "I have to eat that later, and I don't want it tasting like cucumber!"

I plotted a graph of my past mistakes It has an ex-axis and a why-axis

I told my therapist I've been having suicidal thoughts He now makes me pay in advance

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

The creator of homeopathy has just died. Massive underdose, apparently.

Just watched “Chernobyl”. Turned to my wife and asked if I could put my “Control Rod” into her “RBMK Reactor” She said no and had a complete meltdown.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!

I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesn't come with a driver. I can't believe I have nothing to chauffer it.

I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesn't come with a driver. I can't believe I have nothing to chauffer it.

I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.