The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit — what a huge waist!

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

I have a joke about statistics, but it’s not significant.

What is the worst thing for a woman to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? "I'm not Willie Nelson."

I knew a man who poisoned his wife with a pair of scissors. He gave her arsenic.

I fell asleep with my iPhone under my pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and replaced with a shiny new silver dollar... Damn that Blue-Tooth Fairy!

My husband has cooked me a lovely meal and bought some very nice wine. I'll bet he's after sex. Well he can forget that. He's staying in with me.

So, after all your time on the internet, have you learned how to avoid clickbait? Doesn't seem like it

Whst should a man call a wink from his wife ? Wife eye connection.

Sometimes I like to wind down the windows of my car, and sing at the top of my lungs to strangers walking by. I was never meant to be a hearse driver.

Peter Piker When Peter Piker peeked at Penny,And peeped her perfect pooperHis peepers paused and then his jawPlopped down into a stuporBut he perked up and pressed his luck;Professed he pined to pipe her He self-composed and then proposedWhile poin... read more

The teacher asks little Johnny : "Your dad buys 18 six-packs of beer at $3 a piece, how much is it ?" "I'd say about a one week supply, Ma'am !"

So I held a race between my farmhands. They ran equally fast, and demanded I determine the winner. However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.~~it's dumb but at least it's original~~

I can cut down a tree only using my vision. I saw it with my own eyes.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that got blown up? Da brie was everywhere.