The Best (and Worst) Really Bad & Awful Dad Jokes 👋

If the early bird gets the worm, I'll sleep in until there's pancakes.

If the early bird gets the worm, I'll sleep in until there's pancakes.

I'd rather die than having Alzeheimer's disease. I'd rather die than having Alzheimer's disease.

You wouldn't be able to be a comedian in space Because there is no atmosphere

There's shop in the mall selling ice picks, knives, leather gloves, shovels, brass knuckles, ropes, and women's stockings It was called "Accessories To The Crime"

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis... it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

I heard the best geography joke today... I would tell you but you had to be there.

Why did the crab cross the road? It didn't. It used the sidewalk.(This was a joke my teacher made)

You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.'

I got fired from my job of making leaf blowers... because they all sucked.

A joke I made up 20 min ago Me: “I’m going to tie a bell on the tip of my penis!”Wife: “WTF!?! Why?!”Me: “I know it’ll be kind of annoying at first, but trust me, it’ll become a-dick-ting!”

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!'

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!'